Pain of Commitment or Pain of Regret?

Hi, Dear Reader. You may be here today because you were enticed by the title or you are just damn bored. Either which, I would like to tell you first that this post is about personal complaints and blubbers.

It’s summer, so are you ready to be heated up?
Here we go.

Lately, the universe is always telling me that I have become fat. Well, thank you. But these “constructive” criticisms are starting to bug me. But yet, you see, I’d rather take such wordings from a fit and healthy person than an unhealthy FAT person himself or herself. Seriously, what’s the use of being such a hypocrite? Go work out yourself, dude and gal! Seriously, get your own life!

And yet, this being super healthy led me to my daily trips to the Grand Stand. My jogging partner is gone for a few days and my decision making moments are more painstaking than ever. I have to choose the pain of commitment. Always.

Also, I need to continue this until forever because I choose to be fit and healthy than to be thin. I need to be healthy in my last and dramatic school year in college. I need to be fit in order to balance my extra-curricular and academics. In a few more days, summer is going to end and I need to be healthy because it’s going to be stressful. As much as I love challenge, my body needs to be in tune with the pain and stress. I am going to be fit and healthy.

I shall continue to jog every day because for some reason it pushes me to clear my mind. For me, it is an act of meditation. It seriously helps me make better decisions. As I brisk walk or jog in the oval, it may seem comforting to see others who are bigger than me but truth is, it isn’t. In fact, it encourages me to be more fit because if they can do it, why can’t I? Because if I don’t, I will suffer from future ailments which concerns my fat, breathing and most of all, damaged confidence. And I don’t want that to happen.

Now, dear reader, let’s connect this to academics. I am actually an average student. I became hungry for excellence once, now, I am taking an oath to make excellence a lifestyle. I am going to make sure that this 5th year will be bombastic and productive for me not because it is my last year but because I can make it to the Latin Honors list. Because if I don’t do it, I will come to the moments that lurk on self-pity and regret. And for every every body’s information, regret is most painful especially in the end. Nasa huli ang pagsisisi.

Seriously, I can do it. I know I can do it. If past Jaydee made it through her first year, future Jaydee can make it this time again.  I will make Harvey Specter and Mike Ross be my wallpaper because they remind me of excellence. I just have to pray and trust God to the rest while I did my best.

I just have to be always posed with the question, Pain of Commitment or Pain of Regret?

Of course, dear reader, be the bigger man and choose the former. 🙂


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